Security Guards...

At lunch time I decided that I would accomplish something that I had neglected to get done for a couple of weeks. I was going to get the marriage license for my impending marriage, of which I am ecstatically happy about and anxiously anticipating! Being 'pro-active'! Doing my part for the nuptials! That was my intent when I ventured out.

Having gathered all the information that I needed, I went to the bank to get some cash to pay for the license (the Clerk of Courts doesn't accept any other form of payments... are you serious?!? Having cash in my wallet is a luxury, and about as common as the infamous 'Jackalope'). Not a big deal though. I got the cash and headed over to the circuit court building. Entering the building, and knowing that some things had changed in the county with respect to what building each service was at, before emptying my pockets to go through the metal detectors I would ask whether or not I was in the right place. The response from the security guard,

"Whoa, are you sure you want to get married?"

I knew what was going on here. This was the "Son, do you know what you are getting into?" lecture that seemingly all tied-down men speak of to all grooms-to-be. I would be lying if I said I had not already heard it two or three times in the last couple of months. I'm game, so I'll play along.

"Uh... yeah... I'm sure"

At this point my involvement in the 'game' has ended. The security guard who was not much older than myself proceeds to ask the other 'guard' slouched over in the chair at the end of the table, "(Name), how long you been married?"

To which he mumbled, "almost 20 years..."

"and how much would you say is good and how much is bad?"

The slouching 'guard' shrugs to indicate the response "I don't know".

"Ninety percent good? eighty percent?"

Probably fed up with his co-worker's self indulgence, he replies, "Probably ninety percent good"

Now the truth comes out...

"See... now I have been married a month... actually a little more than a week. That's why I ask if you know what you are getting into."

It was all so clear now. This guy was so gung-ho about being able to finally use the line that he had heard so many times (inevitably) leading up to his own wedding! I get it now! I am happy to have provided him with the opportunity, I guess.

Side-note #1: This all could have been avoided had I gone to the correct building. After this transpired, I was told to go to the Courthouse on the other side of town.

Side-note #2: I didn't have all the information I needed, and still didn't get the license.

Personal thoughts: I hope that the first week of marriage for the gentleman didn't really feel like a month.